Millipedes In My Bed

The other night, in the wee hours, I felt something crawling on my hand. Without opening my eyes, I used my other hand to crush it. All I could think was no, no, no, no. I opened my eyes a crack to see hundreds of little legs twitching and a big squished body. With one big sigh of relief I closed my eyes again, thinking in a sleepy haze, only a millipede. A moment later, I woke with a start, WHEN did it become okay for millipedes to crawl over my sleeping body? I started to think about my two previous nemesis: Ticks. Ticks suck your blood, but these kindly little guys finish their meal and drop off your body never to return again. They know their limits. Most important they live outside. Lice. Again, blood suckers and these bastards take advantage - reproducing in your hair. Gross. But you just have to keep your hair dirty, spritz it with rosemary if you plan on sharing hats with people you barely know. Lice make themselves easier to banish from your home because they can't live long without a meal. Onto Bed Bugs. They suck your blood night after night, reproducing by the 100s in your bed, clothing, side boards, and outlets. Living for a year with no food. Paving the way for other bug acceptance.